Human
by Lord Ravenwood
Summary: AU Oneshot Post Spartan Ops. Lasky/Palmer romance. The idea of losing that sense, losing what made her feel human scared the woman almost as the feeling that she got when she looked at him.


**AN: A short AU one off surrounding around the relationship of Thomas Lasky and Sarah Palmer. Just something that I couldn't get out of my head. Was done in under an hour, so not the most well thought out piece.**

 **Unbeated, so pardon any mistakes.**

* * *

It was quiet on this sub deck, something that Thomas was thankful for. He had ordered Roland to take control of the ship and to alert of him any major changes. After the events of the past few hours, from ordering Fireteam Majestic to hunt down Palmer to ONI ordering the hit on Doctor Halsey, he needed somewhere quiet and out of the way to think.

The _Infinity_ was the largest ship in the UNSC, the crown jewel of the fleet. 17,000 people all stuck on one ship lead to not a lot of secret and dark places. He could of just went to his own private quarters, but he had a feeling someone would of found him within the hour needing something from him.

It was bad, seeing as he was the Captain of the ship, but in times like this he just needed to be alone. Much like his time at Corbulo when he was dealing with his Brother's death, he just disappeared from the public eye.

Roland had been the helping hand in that, finding a small side room that had a window that out looked into the grand empty lengths of space. On his off duty hours he had cleaned up the small room and made it his own little private spot. Complete with a large chair, radio, small coffee table and a mini refrigerator.

With the sliding doors closing behind him, Thomas sighed loudly and placed the datapad on the table. Sitting into the large plush chair he rested his head against the plush padding and shut his eyes.

This second deployment to the Forerunner planet had been on headache after another. The UNSC had spared no price for the amount of money they threw into the _Infinity_ when they returned to Earth with the Master Chief.

Ranging from a highly skilled team of Scientists, ONI personal, the very best the UNSC could buy was thrown into every aspect of the ship. Even Roland got a slight upgrade in his already massive processing power.

There was the real reason he was hiding; Spartan Commander Sarah Palmer.

He was long past the time of lying to himself that he didn't have feelings for the woman that went beyond professional working relationship.

No, there was something about the way the woman's brown hair shined in just the right low light. The sound of her laugh and the crooked smile she only showed ever to him in private. It was a difficult situation, he didn't understand women at all. Along the fact that was she was a SPARTAN-IV and under his command, the UNSC laws on fraternization were clear.

Sure, if she wasn't a Spartan, he knew that the higher ups at the UNSC really wouldn't care. During the war with the Covenant, if someone wasn't stealing, committing treason, leaving their post, or killing one of their fellow soldiers, the UNSC didn't enforce most of their own military law.

But a Spartan, at least with the II's and III's were classified as 'military hardware' in official terms at HIGHCOM. They weren't allowed to have anything other than their duty. The IV's were different in that nature, being regular Marines, Infantrymen, ODST they were not the children taken from their homes in the middle of the night.

It reminded him of a late night conversation with Sarah weeks ago.

* * *

 _Though there was technically there was no day or night in space. Their clocks was set to Earth or the local time depending on what planet they were._

 _The Captain was at the hem for the graveyard shift. The clock reading 2 in the morning, it was by the grace of the steaming cup of coffee next to him on the command chair that was keeping him awake._

 _The bridge was mostly silent, only a skeleton crew controlling the main systems. The Weapons Officer was staring deeply into her mug of coffee, the Marines on bridge guard looked no worse for wear, 12 hour duties were always the bane of any military member._

 _He was pulled from his half asleep state by the bridge guards snapping to attention as the doors opened and the familiar sight of Commander Palmer walking towards Thomas. He offered a weak smile and took a long gupe of the bitter black coffee._

" _You're looking pretty terrible, Tom." Sarah teased slightly as she took the second in command seat. She spinned the seat around allowing her to face the Captain._

" _Thank you, Sarah. I wouldn't know what I would do without your waterfall of knowledge." Tom said dryly with a slight grin on his features. He glanced around to the other members of the deck, each seemed to be stuck in their own little world. Which was usually the case with the graveyard shift._

" _You will just need to find a new Spartan Commander to keep you awake when on duty." Sarah popped her feet up onto one of the massive consoles, hands clasping the back of her head._

 _Tom raised a brow, after the amount of time of serving with each other and having a close friendship he was slowly picking up on her 'tells'. He could see behind the relaxed position, her muscles were tensed, she seemed..- nervous._

 _In fact she looked more than nervous. He had always known the woman to be one of the most brave and confident people he had ever met. That aura she always carried around herself was gone, replaced with an uncertainty he had seen only a few times before. Something that was always saved for him in private._

" _I can tell when something is on your mind, Sarah. What's the issue?" Tom gave a smile to try and bring the Spartan out of her shell a little bit more._

 _The woman nodded her head at Tom's words but kept quiet for a long time, "It's a Spartan thing, Tom."_

" _You're still a person last time I checked. And I know how to do 'people things'." Tom reasoned as he sipped from the coffee, eyes on the woman._

 _There was a glimmer of something in her eyes. Her brown eyes darkening for a moment before she blinked, that look leaving, "That's the issue."_

 _Tom simply arched his brow, shifting in his chair as he gave her a pointed look._

 _Sarah sighed a small bit, "Fine. It's about being a Spartan."_

" _It's a grand respon.."_

 _He was cut off by Sarah raising her hand and shaking her head, "No. It's not that, Tom," She sighed again before speaking softly, "Every Spartan before us have been bred for war. Their one single purpose has to been to fight the enemy of the UNSC. The fours are different though, we had lives before becoming Spartans. We have feelings."_

 _Tom nodded as he spoke, "Something must of brought this up."_

 _Tom swore to this day that at his words, there was a sudden appearance of a red tint on Sarah's cheeks. But in the low light of the bridge, it was still hard to make out. She didn't speak, making Tom sigh and open his mouth, "Look Sarah, I don't know much about 'Spartan Things', but what I see in front of me is a hard working woman. A woman that feels, that loves, that hates. All of that. Never let someone make you think you will be anything less than human."_

 _The Captain had to hold himself back from smacking himself from the sounded. He always made sure to control those emotions for Sarah when around the Spartan. But seeing the usual brave and confident woman acting like a hurt puppy tugged on his heart._

 _The Commander's eyes joked upwards to lock with Tom's in a stare. He felt himself shifting slightly in his seat from it. But he kept his ground and his emotions in check, matching the blank stare. There was something behind all those layers she kept up, and it glimmered in her eyes in that one one moment._

 _It was same thing that glimmered in his own when he saw her._

* * *

He was pulled from his thoughts when Roland appeared on top of the datapad that was on the table next to him, "Commander Palmer is in the service elevator. Thought I would give you a warning, Skipper."

"Thank you, Roland. That will be all." The Smart AI gave a small bow with a paired smirk before disappearing.

Tom sighed and pulled himself from the seat, cracking his neck as he opened the fridge and took out two beers.

It was only a few passing moments before the sliding door opened and the flushed appearance of Sarah walked in. Dressed only in the black undersuit that every Spartan wore, her brown hair was done in the same tight bun she always wore.

"Captain..- Lasky..- _Tom_." Sarah tried to get out as she paced back and forth in the small room, trying her best to find the proper words to explain what just happened.

The Captain only reached over and handed her the opened beer in silence, a small smile on his features as he sipped from his own.

Sarah downed half the bottle in one go. She took the Captain's seat and leaned back into the plushy chair, "Where did you get this? It's extremely comfortable compared to the shit the UNSC gives us."

It wasn't Sarah's type fashion to make small talk when there was an elephant in the room. It seems Tom was going to be forced to start the conversation.

"Sarah, I..-I understand why you followed through with the orders."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, the very small room felt even small as a dead silence overtook the two. He didn't push anymore than that, watching the side of her head as he sipped from his beer.

"Do you want to know why I didn't do it? Why I _couldn't_ do it, Tom?" Sarah's voice finally cut through the silence like a knife through warm butter.

"Reason won out?"

"You. You and your words."

Now that caught the Captain off guard. Even more so when Sarah moved from the chair, going to stand in front of him.

It was odd for Tom to look up at Sarah. Even out of her armor, Sarah was still a few inches taller than the Captain. She had that look in her again, the same one she wore more and more often ever since the night in the bridge.

It set a burning feeling in the pit of his stomach when he caught her looking at him like that. He cleared his throat before speaking, "What do you mean?"

"You didn't follow the command because it was the wrong thing to do. During Spartan training, we're taught to follow commands to our dying breath. They failed to realize that we were not like them. Not like the other Spartans. We're different." Sarah tried her best to explain. She didn't move from in front of the Captain.

Tom tried his best from reaching out to grip the back of her neck and finally pull her lips down to his. He knew his cheeks were starting to flush red from the near touching closeness.

"I went with it at first. Doing what I was told to do. I realized somewhere down there that I had forgotten what it meant to have my own thoughts. The title of Spartan weighs like the world down on all of our shoulders. We forgot who we were before."

He wasn't sure why he did it, afterwards until the day he died he was glad he had. But his arm went forward, going to wrap tightly around the woman's waist and pulled her body flushed against his.

Sarah gave an almost breathless sigh when she finally felt Tom's arm wrapping around her waist. She allowed herself to be pulled, it felt nice to finally allow herself to _feel_ what she's been suppressing for the Captain.

She still needed to finish this though, to explain herself to the only person she knew would understand, "Then I remembered what you said. About people making think all I am is a Spartan, a tool for them to use. I thought about me from before all of this. I thought about what made me feel human. I thought about you."

Neither knew who moved first, but before either knew it, Tom was back into the chair with Sarah in his lap, lips connected in a heated and passionate kiss. Tom's hands rubbing up and down the sides of her body.

Her own hands were fisting the material of his BDU jacket as she arched her neck as his lips moved down the side of the pale flesh.

It was hours later, the two still naked on the floor of the small room. Sarah's head rested on his chest as his fingertips ran up and down the curve of her back. She gave a small smile and buried her face into his chest.

Yes, this is what she was missing. The beat of his heart against hers. No Admiral, officer, mission, objective, super soldier program could take that feeling away from her.


End file.
